WEDnesday

Respond Instead of React 

Do you know all the different kinds of metals?

Gold, silver and copper are a few metals you have probably heard of before.  Platinum is another metal.  Platinum is a noble metal, that means it doesn’t react with other metals.  If you place platinum and gold in the same bowl, they don’t suddenly change into a new compound.  In a way, you can say that platinum is self-controlled.  Some elements are not "self-controlled."  Iron Pyrite, or Fool's Gold, is that kind of metal.  It is always unstable, either being created or destroyed and can cause spontaneous combustion.  People are often either like platinum or like iron pyrite. They are either calm and even-tempered, or they have a short fuse and quick temper.  “Fool’s Gold Friends” leave us tiptoeing around them.  "Platinum Faith Friends" allow us to be open and transparent without fear of retribution.  They are safe places and love us for who we are, even if we differ in our opinions.

But here is the thing, reactions are not all negative.

In fact, reactions can save lives.  You know that when you are driving, slamming on your brakes can prevent a car accident.  Performing the Heimlich maneuver on a person who is choking can save their life; or just grabbing a glass before it shatters on the floor  keeps  it from shattering.  But while reactions can save us, they can also destroy us. 

How many times have you regretted something you’ve said?

Have you ever lashed out when someone hurt your feelings?  Whether it’s at school or a comment on Instagram or Tiktok, reacting in a negative manner can have disastrous consequences.  Our dependence on texting, snap and social media is both a blessing and a curse.  It allows us to share our opinions quickly from the safety of a screen.  When we practice the spiritual discipline of self-control, we respond to situations instead of acting upon our first instincts.  Instead, we allow time to pray, seek wise counsel, and communicate more effectively.  We can't control the actions of others, but we can control how we respond to the situation.

So how can we respond?

1. Train yourself to take a deep breath before speaking.

Give yourself the time and space to think before answering a question or responding to someone.  When we simply react, we miss the opportunity to look at our options carefully and to think through various outcomes.
James 1:19 instructs us to be quick to listen and slow to speak and become angry because there is power in our words and anger doesn’t produce righteousness.

2. Write down your thoughts and walk away from them.

Hitting the send button too early can send a shockwave of panic through your belly. Sometimes writing out a response in your notes or a journal can help you think through what you want to say.  Then you can go back through the message and make sure you’re conveying the message you want to send, instead a message full of emotions that you may regret.

3. Repeat the phrase, “You might be right.”

There is nothing more powerful in the heat of an argument than to admit that the other person might be right.  Instantly, you’ve humbled yourself and given the other person a chance to save face.  I Peter 5:6-7 says to humble yourself before God so that He will lift you up in His time.  We are called to love each other and to love each other means we're willing to be wrong.  Willing to show grace.  Willing to put the other person's needs in front of our interests.  The Bible says not to be quickly provoked in our spirits, for anger resides in the lap of fools (see Ecclesiastes 7:9).  Practicing the aspect of platinum faith that is self-controlled means instead of reacting in anger, we respond in love.

When we do this, we can truly show the life-changing love of Christ through our actions and strengthen the relationships that matter so much.

So use your faith to respond vs. react!